Loneliness

Over the past couple of years I've met many people who are finding themselves more and more lonely. Girls had thoughts of themselves growing up when they were little masquerading around the back yard with a white pillow sheet over their long hair, having thoughts of marrying that ruddy face freckled boy just down the road. Maybe you are thinking that this is silly. Maybe some of you are having images cross your mind where you used to do the same thing.

Now, personally I've seen this first hand several times. Being the only boy in the house I had two older sisters, who even in their late teens would still dress up and pretend. I would on the other hand would make fun of them and think how goofy I thought they were. I've said this before, when I was a boy growing up in elementary school the purpose of having a girlfriend was to have someone to kick in the head while playing Power Rangers, and that's why I had a different girlfriend each week in school. Honestly at such a young age and being a boy I had no other idea what the purpose of a “girlfriend” was. But now to my horror I'm witnessing my poor baby nieces, those little sweet girls that I helped raise, I taught them how to throw a football and how to wrestle, also masquerading in a white pillow sheet over their head humming "Here comes the bride". WHAT HAPPEN??? THEY ARE SO YOUNG!!!

To quote the famous Apostle Paul "Such were some of you". And yes I know this bible verse has nothing to do with being lonely, but it is right. I think we've all been there, and sure, I'm just as guilty as anyone. How many times do you think I pass a female at church, or at a conference, or etc. and wonder, hmm... is she the one?

I think a majority of us have this probably. We weren't blessed like the Apostle Paul in the aspect of relationships, and maybe you were, and if so this blog wouldn’t mean a thing to you, unless you just like to hear me ramble. But I've had conversations with many who have took the Joshua Harris approach to dating and "Kissed it Goodbye" and then I’ve seen others who have taken the approach of dating everyone until they finally got lucky. Both approaches can be a struggle and full of heart break. I've been the guy that’s experienced both. Wondering when you can feel the releasing from God to date someone because you finally found someone you think would be amazing. Or you're getting tired of another failed relationship where you got your heart wrapped so tight around this person that when they took the scissors and cut, you flew to pieces and you’re just getting tired of picking up leftovers. Then you find yourself trying to offer someone these leftovers while still in the back of your mind you know the last person still has a majority of you, or the “life” part of you.

Now I know this hits home with a lot of you reading this. For the rest of you you’re probably already married or could care less about marriage. But I want to turn this around and offer you a different point of view to the dating world. This “different view” is the part where God is looking at you, not you looking at him. Whether your approach to dating is to give God all of you, and to let him mold you, and bring you your mate. Or whether you'd rather throw yourself up against every wall on a rollercoaster high and low relationship is totally up to you (both is a struggle and extremely painful). But to me it's the same concept (you may disagree, but that's OK write your own blog =D).

Ok, now to the God side of things.

God remembers the countless conversations with him where I shared my heart directly with him on how I don't want to wait longer than the age of 24 to be married. I already feel like I'm getting old as it is. And he knows what I've asked for in a woman, and more than anything he knows what Hank needs in a partner as well. He's heard my prayers for her as well. But we are talking about a God who is all knowing. Genesis recalls how "In the beginning God created". Wow… Have you seriously sat down in your thinking chair as my good friends Steve and Blue would say, and think about how powerful that verse alone in scripture is? "In the BEGINNING GOD CREATED". God created everything you see today. We are talking about a God who created the universe, galaxies, and all these planets in the solar system. He created all kinds of creatures, animals, plants and mountains. But yet in all of this beauty and creation God too was "lonely".

Now sure, every animal had its own “kind male and female.” And God looked at the loneliness Adam had and said it wasn't good for man to be alone. So just like in your situation, God sees the pain in your alone time and he says it isn't good. And just like God gave Adam his wife Eve, God will have you someone too. But there is a reason why people like you and I have these times of loneliness in our lives, and that's because in the mist of your loneliness God begins to mold you and teach you. Just like he did with Adam in the garden, God had alone time with Adam and the bible says that he would walk with Adam in the cool of the day. Adam had a personal and intimate relationship with the star breathing, awesome, God. And when God created Eve for Adam he did it while Adam was asleep. And the bible says that God "brought" Eve to Adam. Underline the word "brought" in your mind. God also had a time with Eve.

All God wanted was someone to talk to and have a relationship with. And when life is busy and you're so consumed with other things, it takes that intimate time away from the Creator of life and you. But when you've spent all that time with Him being molded by the Potters hands through tears, patience, and heartache then no matter who is in your life you'll always come back to Him, and He'll be first in your life.

So don't look at loneliness as a "terrible time in your life". Because, if that's the way you see it, then you've missed the entire purpose of being alone, but never lonely. The part where in your alone time you become closer to the one who brought the first marriage together. I don’t know about you, but I want my future bride, to be touched by the Potter’s hands. So during this time ladies and gentlemen, wrap yourselves around the awesome God who desires to wrap his love around you.

God bless,
Hank L. Hayes